Indigenous therapist Carlie Schofield explores connection between cultural identity and people-pleasing

Aboriginal therapist Carlie Schofield has shared a powerful perspective on how cultural safety and the desire to disprove stereotypes can drive 'people-pleasing' behaviours. In an article published by ABC News on 28 July 2026, Schofield explains that for many Indigenous people, being 'good' is often a survival mechanism rooted in a need for safety, belonging, and protection rather than just low self-esteem. Schofield describes growing up with an acute awareness of the stereotypes attached to being Aboriginal. She notes that as a young girl, the stakes felt higher, creating a sense of responsibility to exceed expectations and avoid drawing unwanted attention to her family. This vigilance, she argues, was a deeply intelligent adaptation to a world where racism was never far away. For Schofield, the role of 'peacekeeper' extended into her whānau life, where she sought to ensure her mother's adult life was easier following a difficult upbringing. The transition to motherhood proved a turning point for Schofield, as the demands of a new baby made maintaining these unrealistic standards of constant accommodation impossible. While many clinical approaches focus solely on setting boundaries, Schofield suggests this can feel empty if one does not yet have a firm sense of self-identity outside of serving others. Now reflecting on her journey with both lived and professional experience, Schofield reports that the most transformative work was not simply learning to say 'no,' but learning to identify her own desires. By paying attention to what brought her joy and energy, she began a process of self-discovery that allowed her to move beyond being a 'good daughter' or 'good therapist' and find her own voice. According to Schofield, this shift allowed her to reclaim a sense of control and power over her own life and family unit.